Yakuza Pirates in Hawaii
Full disclosure: I came to this as a devoted fan of the Yakuza series, having loved the storytelling, characters, and combat of previous entries. That background made this instalment’s failings feel like a particularly sharp betrayal of everything that made the series special in the first place.
Thirteen hours of gameplay with zero story progression. That’s not hyperbole, it’s the crushing reality of what this instalment offers. What should have been an exciting expansion of the Yakuza universe instead feels like a case study in scope creep gone wrong.
From the opening moments, the gameplay itself has been stripped of everything that made previous Yakuza games viscerally engaging. Combat feels toothless and repetitive, lacking the satisfying crunch of earlier games in the series. Even on hard difficulty, battles pose no real challenge. The open world sandbox promises freedom but delivers only endless, meaningless fights with everyone you encounter.
After the bulk of the introduction is over, the game assaults you with gratuitous sexualisation that sets an uncomfortable tone. This isn’t like you get to the hidden casino in Dragon Quest and there are a few bunny girls: instead, it’s what looks like a teenage boy’s fantasy version of Treasure Island. It’s harder to overlook the heavy-handedness when you realise the mini-games also lack the spirit and pacing of previous games. The time that should have been spent by the developers on building engaging gameplay has been substituted for the time spent by the artists on rendering the pores and freckles of the cleavage on a woman of easy charm.
When we finally make it to the heart of the game, we’re introduced to one of the few female “main” characters, whose character design is impossible to ignore—what did her face look like again? Disturbingly, one of these few female characters is a sexualised teenager who is carefully placed in Japanese pin-up model poses throughout her cutscenes. This isn’t edgy storytelling; it’s poor taste masquerading as content.
Frustratingly, the gameplay elements that have been added to the game feel hollow and half-baked. The ship battles that should provide variety are disappointingly simplistic. The substories lack the unusual combination of absurdity and sincerity for which the Yakuza franchise is known. And while the addition of character customisation is a nice touch, it feels like putting a fresh coat of paint on a house with a crumbling foundation.
Now, onto the truly heartbreaking reality: Majima. Once a complex and compelling character, has been reduced to a caricature of his former self. This feels like a game that expanded in every direction except the ones that matter: story, character development, and engaging gameplay.